February 2013

February is here, and because of Valentine’s Day, it is the month of love. Just walk through any store and you will see all the hearts and flowers that are for sale that only appear this month. As Christians, we know that ‘love’ is the summary characteristic of a believer’s life, and that is should go on all the time. We are to love God, love Christ, love the church, love God’s Word, love our spouse, love our kids, love our enemies, love our neighbors, and so on.  This month I wanted to draw our attention to another area of love that Scripture calls for, and I believe it is one of the hardest to really master.

Ephesians 4:15 says we are to “speak the truth in love.” I believe this is one of the hardest ‘love’ commands to follow. Speaking the truth requires a believer to be fearless and bold, ready and willing to confront and/or correct another. But also, that truth speaking must be done with an attitude of love, with a genuine concern for the other person. It’s a delicate balance, and difficult to perfect.

This verse is in the context of describing believers growing in spiritual maturity (vv 13-14). So, speaking the truth in love, is the mark of a spiritually mature person. Also, verse 14 is warning us to not be spiritual children who are tricked and deceived into thinking all kinds of things. So the truth speaking is not just about trivial things, although that still applies. It is primarily about believers who are wavering in their beliefs and doctrines. Can you imagine confronting someone about that? As I said, this is a difficult aspect of love.

Some people are great at speaking the truth. They have no fear “telling it like it is.” They are not shy about letting their feelings and/or desires be made known. They will say what needs to be said without any second guessing about the awkwardness it might cause for the other person. But, if all that truth speaking is not done in a loving way, the other person is turned off and doesn’t hear. The truth speaker is viewed as “mean” or even “rude,” when maybe they really are speaking the truth! But if the love is not there, people won’t receive it.

Other people are great at loving. They love everybody and everything everybody does. They avoid, at all costs, confronting or correcting other people. And usually they avoid this out of concern for being labeled “unloving” or “judgmental.” Siding completely on the side of “love” avoids the truth, and in reality, becomes unhelpful.

The key is to find the delicate balance. Speaking the truth must be done in a loving way, with concern for the other person’s well being and feelings. And loving that other person must always be in truth, which means confronting when an offense has happened. To ignore it and let it continue would not be love.

If we all implement this, I see a church of spiritually mature believers who can confront with the truth in love for their fellow brother/sister. Some examples are: “That language really wasn’t appropriate.” Or, “I think that choice of clothing is a little too revealing.”

In order for us all to be able to do this, we need to look for it when it is done to us. When another believer confronts me about an offense, I want to welcome that because that believer loves me and doesn’t want me to continue offending.  So, speak the truth in love and look for others who are speaking the truth in love to you.

Pastor Mark Scialabba

January 2012

Tebow. Tebow. Tebow. If you have been following the NFL over the past few months, this name has come up more than any other name. And it has even spilled over into pop culture and the news as well. If you don’t know who Tebow is, let me explain. He is a quarterback from the University of Florida who was drafted by the Denver Broncos this year. He was a back-up until the team started playing very poorly and then he was given the starting job. Since he took over the team, the Broncos have gone 6-2 and are possibly going to be in the playoffs. This is all because Tim Tebow has been leading the team to victories. But why is there such huge media fascination with him? Players in all professional sports leagues do great things every year, why Tim Tebow? Well, the short answer is: he’s a Christian, and he is not ashamed to show you.

Of course there are many Christians in the NFL, and that alone does not separate Tim Tebow. But there hasn’t really been a player who sings praise songs as he warms up. There hasn’t really been a player who talks about his faith and his Savior at press conferences. There hasn’t really been a player who bows his knee to pray during the game, and not just on good plays! That is not a knock against other Christians in the NFL, this is simply the reason that Tim Tebow stands out.

But with all the hype surrounding Tim Tebow, one thing consistently stands out. Not the question of: does Jesus like the Denver Broncos? Not the issue of: what role does religion play in sports? The thing that stands out is: that is just who he is. You hear other players and coaches from the team and they all say the same thing: that is just who Tim Tebow is. He is not putting on an act in front of cameras. He is not trying to garnish media attention. He is a genuine and sincere person. The guy that sings praise songs during warm ups before a game, is the same guy singing praise songs on an off day. It’s just who he is.

There is an incredibly valuable lesson in the Tim Tebow frenzy. That is the lesson of being real, being genuine, and being sincere. People can tell if you are simply putting on the ‘Christian’ act. Or, if you act one way on Sunday, and a completely different way the rest of the week. If we are two different people around youth group and around school groups, then we are not being sincere. The apostle Paul told his young protégé Timothy that the goal of pastoral teaching was, “love from a pure heart, a good conscience, and a sincere faith” (1 Tim 1:5). The pastor is not trying to teach his people how to act like a Christian, the pastor is trying to teach his people how to be a Christian.

Now, there is the reality that not everyone likes Tim Tebow. In fact, sports columnists, other players, and even people not associated with sports, have slammed Tim Tebow for all his ‘religious stuff.’ People have said to “tone it down,” or “leave it at home,” or “we’re sick of it.” This response is nothing new. Jesus said, “if the world hates you, you know that it has hated Me before it hated you” (John 15:18; see also Matt 10:22, Mark 13:13, Luke 6:22). If you stand up for Jesus Christ, and you act like a Christian all day every day, and you give God the glory for everything, people may not respect you. In fact, they may hate you. But Jesus encourages us by letting us know, “I know how you feel.”

At the end of the day, if we are true believers in Jesus Christ, we need to act like it day in and day out. We can’t have split personalities. Church person on Sunday and at youth group; then worldly person every other day. Be genuine and sincere in your faith. And secondly, be prepared for when you are being sincere, that some people won’t like it. Remember, Jesus said that would happen. Jesus knows how we feel. Just ask yourself this question: what matters more to me, the approval of my friends or the approval of my Savior?

Pastor Mark Scialabba